can't do a thing but wait, so lets wait for one more...
Wow, tonight, I don't even know what to say about tonight. It was all very interesting...
Well, Joe and I went to Starbucks and hung out there, there was a hardcore show at Ground Zero. Joe and I were just chillin when Shae comes in and we talk about Katie and how she doesn't know what happened between us, so I ask Shae to go get her so Katie and I could talk and try to figure things out. So Katie comes by and we leave Starbucks to have a talk. The last few days her and I have been at a stalemate; so I asked the cause of that and what the possible resolution could be. She was very honest and told me all that had happened, and I just sat there and took it. She started to cry, I didn't like that, but there was nothing I could do at that point; it was all in her hands. I tried to hold her until she hopefully would feel a bit better because that is what generally helps me, but it didn't help her one bit. If anything it made matters worse, much worse and it was later used against me. I asked her "what now", she was very unsure; which is very understandable. So I let her go, and then I talked to a seemingly nice couple on the rooftops and told them not to take their relationship for granted and hold onto your partner as long as you possibly can, they seemed scared of me; I had good intentions, I promise. So I went downstairs back to Starbucks, for about 2 and a half seconds. Shae then walks in crying so I go out to talk to her, she tells me how stupid I was to let Katie walk away from me. I replied with 'If she is happy with Matt, I want her to be happy so she can be with him' She didn't agree at all. Matt then walks up, looking very mad, which is understandable; I suppose. Maybe I was walking on his property, but honestly, I didn't know that I was. But, when my friends saw Matt walk up, they went outside to make sure I was ok and to stop any fights, but why the heck would I fight? Especially Matt. Ha. Also, people called making sure I was ok and in good health; that really makes me happy. My friends are truly the greatest, those actions showed that they cared so much, it really meant a lot so thank you. But anyways, Matt, Shae and I were all having a semi-heated discussion, on Shae's side at least. We talked about Katie and how we all thought she felt, Matt and Shae had very different views on that. So after many people coming up and seeing if everything was alright, Matt and I came to a resolution. We decided that we will both take a step back, and let Katie decide what she wants and needs, then we will cast off accordingly, and we will help her try to feel better, and hope all the drama and fighting goes away. So now we wait. I suppose this is what I made Katie feel like, waiting is not good. But, then I think to myself, "is this worth the wait". We will see. I just hope she goes with the person that makes her the happiest, wether it be Matt or me. After all, Matt is not a bad guy, tonight when we were talking some fans came up to him, and he gave them money for a shirt because they couldn't afford one, I thought that was very cool and generous. That could be just what Katie needs, not someone who is unsure, like me.
This past week has been very testing on my mind and body. A lot of things are happening I am not sure if I can handle it. Although, as for now, I don't start school til' Wednesday; that is pretty cool it will give me a bit more time to figure things out. I don't know this past month has left me in pieces, all over the place. I know I say it to much, but a lot is changing, I really hope it will end up the best for all of us, Joe, Alisha, Katie, Matt, Pat, Raya, Bryan, Luke, Lance, Mark, Brian, Kaydie, Michael, Shae, that one couple on the rooftops, and Me. But I will put those people above me for now, and hope they solve everything that is bothering them, so they can be happy. Things will be good soon for all of you, I promise.
I started to read a new book, it is about how one person could change another ones life, now matter how small of a part they play in your life. I strongly believe this. Most everyone I met and definently everyone listed above have made a very significant impact on my life, wether it was good or bad {most of it was good} I thank you, because you have all made me who I am today, and from the longview, I am very happy with that person. Even though I may not be in the best condition right now.
I don't know much else I could say, I feel that I have already said too much so if you think that I was unjust or you don't want me to mention something that I did just tell me, I will take it out.
"a sideways glance, I knew you were looking at him.
I can't call you a friend, 'cause when you left me here,
you left me here to die.
Don't worry I won't call you again,
'cause when I take a hint, I take it pretty hard.... can I call you my friend?
'cause it's been so long since we talked,
and I miss you, don't worry I'm over you right now,
so my feelings won't get in the way of it..."
" I don't know if I'm wrong
'Cause shes only just gone
Why the fuck is this day taking so long
I was a lover of time and once she was mine
I was a lover indeed, I was covered in weed
Cried when she should and she laughed when she could
Well closer to god is the one who's in love
And I walk away cause I can
Too many options may kill a man
Loving is fine if it's not in your mind
But I've fucked it up now, too many times
Loving is good if it's not understood
Yeah, but I'm the professor
And feel that I should know
What makes her come and what makes her stay?
What make the animal run, run away and
What makes him tick apart from him prick
And the lonelier side of the jealousy stick
I don't know"
"your momentary lapse of thought and the way you chose to leave
will stick with me more than you'll ever know.
'the doubt i feel has become more than a word. I thought I knew you.'
I watched the dust trail your steps off the road"
"Am I alone in this?
Never a night where I can sleep myself 'til day.
We must try to figure it out, figure it out.
It won't be that easy.
We lost it somehow"
Afer all of this, I thought to myself, how can someone be so mad for me just having a friend? Friends are totally wholesome, I didn't cross the line.
That is all for tonight, I am sorry to whoever I caused pain to, I didn't do it intentionally, I promise. My stomach hurts, but it is not the stomach ache when you eat to much, I guess it is the one you have when you know someone is about to leave you, I will be fine soon. Remember, anyone can comment and tell me how they feel, so feel free.
Life is Beautiful, in someway.
Sorry...
Love,
Jeffrey Micklos.
Well, Joe and I went to Starbucks and hung out there, there was a hardcore show at Ground Zero. Joe and I were just chillin when Shae comes in and we talk about Katie and how she doesn't know what happened between us, so I ask Shae to go get her so Katie and I could talk and try to figure things out. So Katie comes by and we leave Starbucks to have a talk. The last few days her and I have been at a stalemate; so I asked the cause of that and what the possible resolution could be. She was very honest and told me all that had happened, and I just sat there and took it. She started to cry, I didn't like that, but there was nothing I could do at that point; it was all in her hands. I tried to hold her until she hopefully would feel a bit better because that is what generally helps me, but it didn't help her one bit. If anything it made matters worse, much worse and it was later used against me. I asked her "what now", she was very unsure; which is very understandable. So I let her go, and then I talked to a seemingly nice couple on the rooftops and told them not to take their relationship for granted and hold onto your partner as long as you possibly can, they seemed scared of me; I had good intentions, I promise. So I went downstairs back to Starbucks, for about 2 and a half seconds. Shae then walks in crying so I go out to talk to her, she tells me how stupid I was to let Katie walk away from me. I replied with 'If she is happy with Matt, I want her to be happy so she can be with him' She didn't agree at all. Matt then walks up, looking very mad, which is understandable; I suppose. Maybe I was walking on his property, but honestly, I didn't know that I was. But, when my friends saw Matt walk up, they went outside to make sure I was ok and to stop any fights, but why the heck would I fight? Especially Matt. Ha. Also, people called making sure I was ok and in good health; that really makes me happy. My friends are truly the greatest, those actions showed that they cared so much, it really meant a lot so thank you. But anyways, Matt, Shae and I were all having a semi-heated discussion, on Shae's side at least. We talked about Katie and how we all thought she felt, Matt and Shae had very different views on that. So after many people coming up and seeing if everything was alright, Matt and I came to a resolution. We decided that we will both take a step back, and let Katie decide what she wants and needs, then we will cast off accordingly, and we will help her try to feel better, and hope all the drama and fighting goes away. So now we wait. I suppose this is what I made Katie feel like, waiting is not good. But, then I think to myself, "is this worth the wait". We will see. I just hope she goes with the person that makes her the happiest, wether it be Matt or me. After all, Matt is not a bad guy, tonight when we were talking some fans came up to him, and he gave them money for a shirt because they couldn't afford one, I thought that was very cool and generous. That could be just what Katie needs, not someone who is unsure, like me.
This past week has been very testing on my mind and body. A lot of things are happening I am not sure if I can handle it. Although, as for now, I don't start school til' Wednesday; that is pretty cool it will give me a bit more time to figure things out. I don't know this past month has left me in pieces, all over the place. I know I say it to much, but a lot is changing, I really hope it will end up the best for all of us, Joe, Alisha, Katie, Matt, Pat, Raya, Bryan, Luke, Lance, Mark, Brian, Kaydie, Michael, Shae, that one couple on the rooftops, and Me. But I will put those people above me for now, and hope they solve everything that is bothering them, so they can be happy. Things will be good soon for all of you, I promise.
I started to read a new book, it is about how one person could change another ones life, now matter how small of a part they play in your life. I strongly believe this. Most everyone I met and definently everyone listed above have made a very significant impact on my life, wether it was good or bad {most of it was good} I thank you, because you have all made me who I am today, and from the longview, I am very happy with that person. Even though I may not be in the best condition right now.
I don't know much else I could say, I feel that I have already said too much so if you think that I was unjust or you don't want me to mention something that I did just tell me, I will take it out.
"a sideways glance, I knew you were looking at him.
I can't call you a friend, 'cause when you left me here,
you left me here to die.
Don't worry I won't call you again,
'cause when I take a hint, I take it pretty hard.... can I call you my friend?
'cause it's been so long since we talked,
and I miss you, don't worry I'm over you right now,
so my feelings won't get in the way of it..."
" I don't know if I'm wrong
'Cause shes only just gone
Why the fuck is this day taking so long
I was a lover of time and once she was mine
I was a lover indeed, I was covered in weed
Cried when she should and she laughed when she could
Well closer to god is the one who's in love
And I walk away cause I can
Too many options may kill a man
Loving is fine if it's not in your mind
But I've fucked it up now, too many times
Loving is good if it's not understood
Yeah, but I'm the professor
And feel that I should know
What makes her come and what makes her stay?
What make the animal run, run away and
What makes him tick apart from him prick
And the lonelier side of the jealousy stick
I don't know"
"your momentary lapse of thought and the way you chose to leave
will stick with me more than you'll ever know.
'the doubt i feel has become more than a word. I thought I knew you.'
I watched the dust trail your steps off the road"
"Am I alone in this?
Never a night where I can sleep myself 'til day.
We must try to figure it out, figure it out.
It won't be that easy.
We lost it somehow"
Afer all of this, I thought to myself, how can someone be so mad for me just having a friend? Friends are totally wholesome, I didn't cross the line.
That is all for tonight, I am sorry to whoever I caused pain to, I didn't do it intentionally, I promise. My stomach hurts, but it is not the stomach ache when you eat to much, I guess it is the one you have when you know someone is about to leave you, I will be fine soon. Remember, anyone can comment and tell me how they feel, so feel free.
Life is Beautiful, in someway.
Sorry...
Love,
Jeffrey Micklos.
posted by charlie at 12:20 AM
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Anyway, here it goes: I know I hardly know this girl and I know she for sure doesn't know me. All I know is that she is very young. Now, before you go chastising me for saying that and then quote Aaliyah with "Age ain't nothin' but a number," there is something very important that comes with age that one cannot get from reading a book, from school etc. It's called experience. Going through the phases of growing up and learning from each day. She is young, what did you expect honestly? You may think differently and try to prove me wrong, you can claim that her mentality is way beyond her years, but I’m trying to think realistically. She’s still in high school. I’m not at all saying that you shouldn’t get involved with her or be associated with her; all I’m trying to say is be aware of the people you surround yourself with and prepare yourself for the situations ahead.
Next. I’m tired of reading/hearing how people get so involved with trying to make others happy. Yes, upfront, that idea sounds noble and gracious and great. However, it’s absolutely ludicrous if it’s on your own account. You want to make her happy? Okay, then who is going to make YOU happy? You can say her, but she was the one who caused all the trouble and turmoil for you. I, along with many other people, have learned that we cannot spend our lives trying to make other people’s lives better. What about our own lives?!? If we go around trying to clean up people’s messy lives, who is going to clean up ours? Yes, being selfless is generous and wonderful but not when you get hurt yourself. I know it may seem weird, but you should think about what will make you, Jeff Micklos, happy. I think the idea of letting her decide whatever she wants to do is great, let the girl think for herself. While you on the other hand, should be going about your business not letting yourself get hurt. Your first priority, feelings-wise, is your own. I think starting college will be really beneficial for you. You'll be at a new school, with new people, in a totally new environment. It's a chance to start over. Make yourself happy and then things will just unfold.
“If only we’d stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time.”
Sincerely,
L.N.
follow your heart.
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